Drug Addict Turns Bank Robber in a Moment of Desperation

Joe C. was always afraid of failing. That's why he kept going back to drugs. Eventually, it got him into trouble from which there was no escape…
By Joe C.

My life wasn't always a mess. Despite using drugs off and on, I had built up my own business (as a painting contractor) and was pretty successful at it. I had a nice house and was engaged to be married.

But I was always afraid of failing. That's why I'd kept going back to drugs. I always thought the rug was going to be pulled out from under me.

Nine months before coming to CityTeam, I went on a real bender. Soon, I fell behind on my bills. My business started going down the tubes. And I was hiding it all from my wife-to-be. We were supposed to go on vacation, and I didn't have a nickel to my name.

I was thousands of dollars in debt, and needed a lot of money real fast. So I robbed a bank. It was a spur of the moment thing. I really wasn't thinking. I did it on Friday afternoon, right in the middle of rush hour traffic. I used my own truck, so the police ended up tracing my license. Just as I left the bank, a dye bomb exploded in the moneybag I was carrying, and got all over me. I got away -- driving 90 miles an hour on the wrong side of the road. But I was scared to death. When I went by my house, the police were already there -- and I took off again.

I now realize I could have killed myself, or someone else. But I didn't care much at the time. I ended up at the home of a drug dealer friend who put me up for a few days. Then he gave me a ride to the bus station in Philadelphia where I got a one-way ticket to California. I got as far as St. Louis when my conscience started to bother me. I hadn't talked to anyone in my family, or my fiancé, in days. I just felt terrible. So I turned around and took a train back to Harrisburg. For three days, I stayed holed up with nothing more than heroin.

At this point, I was suicidal. I kept thinking that maybe I should just go ahead and overdose and kill myself. But then I called my girlfriend and she was crying.

It was my girlfriend who convinced me to turn myself in for the robbery. I did one month in prison before I got bailed out. My dad put up $20,000 and took me home. Two weeks later, I was back on heroin-with money I had stolen from him. I couldn't believe it. I felt so low. Eventually, he kicked me out and I went to live in a friend's Winnebago parked in an industrial garage.

I had visited CityTeam before. But I was pretty "anti-religious" and there were just too many rules at the Mission, so I didn't stay. But now, I was out of money. I had no place else to go. And I didn't feel like going through what I had to go through to get more drugs.

I ended up coming back to CityTeam around Thanksgiving. I don't remember much. I was pretty sick, coming down from the drugs. By the third day, the withdrawals were really bad and I wanted to leave. When everybody else went to their AA meeting, I snuck into the kitchen to use the phone to have someone pick me up. But I got caught-ironically by another guy on the program who had snuck in to get something to eat. I made up some lame excuse and ended up staying another day.

That's when my father came to visit. My face was gray. I had pneumonia. And hepatitis. He looked at me, and just started crying. He told me he loved me and that he wanted me to get better. That's when I decided to stay, no matter what happened. I went to the hospital and they gave me some antibiotics for the pneumonia. After I regained my health, I went back to CityTeam and started going to classes.

Still, I had to face the robbery charges, and I was pretty sure that if I went to court, I wasn't coming back. Even though I was pretty sure I was going to jail, I was just grateful to be sober. I wasn’t afraid. I had messed up, with the robbery and all. If it was time to do my penance, so be it!

I went to court three times. Because I had turned myself in and didn’t have a bad criminal record, they let me stay at CityTeam. At least for now.

Since I came here, my view of God has really changed. I used to get mad in class all the time because I didn’t believe some of the things they were saying. Then I talked with Wanda, one of the staff members here. She told me to stop arguing. You don’t have to agree with everything, she told me, just stop arguing. So I did. Instead of trying to tear everything down, I started to listen. And pray.

Sometimes, I still have doubts, but I get down on my hands and knees every morning and ask God to show Himself to me. And he has. Just the fact that I probably should be in prison right now - - and I’m not - - proves to me that He’s real. I still might do some jail time. But as long as I keep on my spiritual journey, I’ll be fine.

Right now, I’m going back to school. Eventually, I’d like to counsel others. I’ve got to give back what’s been given to me… for the Man Upstairs.

No matter what happens, I believe God took me out of where I was - - in the muck and the mire - - because He wants me to be a servant. That’s what I’ve learned by coming here.